This is something I learned from Leslie Kaminoff, who in turn was taught by the modern master of yoga therapy, T.K.V. Desikachar. Don’t yet ask me what the other 10% is as I’m still learning and trying to figure this out (smile). I have a pretty good idea of what it might be.

I attended a 4 hour workshop with Kaminoff a few weeks ago on the anatomy of the breath and I’m now reading his 2nd. ed. of “Yoga Anatomy” with a bit of a different lens that I had read through it in the past. When talking about the breath, Kaminoff puts a lot of emphasis on the exhalation, stating that “if we take care of the exhalation, the inhalation takes care of itself. If we get rid of the unwanted, we make room for what is needed.” (Yoga Anatomy, pg. 8). Interestingly, I don’t think I’ve ever focused on my exhalation as much as on my inhalation in any kind of breathing practice in the past. It’s an interesting paradigm shift for me. Try it. Take five full breaths and focus on eliminating absolutely all of the air from your lungs before allowing any air back in. And I mean all of the air, leaving no residue. See what happens when you inhale.

What’s with the toilet? Kaminoff and other yoga therapists also place great emphasis on the benefits yoga brings in terms of improved bowel function. In his words, many of us “are literally full of shit”. Learn to breath more efficiently, take in the nutrients that are good for your body, and give your organs a bit of a tune up by releasing some of the blockages and you will poop better, which in turn will have you feel better. Pretty simple. One of the main methodologies of all traditional yoga practice aims to resolve blockages or obstructions, which can include anything that causes pain or suffering, to improve function. By removing and working through anything that causes difficulty, uneasiness, or discomfort, we create space for the good of our own well-being. (Leslie Kaminoff)
On a more holistic level, this is how I see the relevance of the ninetieth percentile of waste removal involved in practicing yoga (on and off the mat):

Physical well-being: Refer to my post “40 Ways Yoga Heals” as well as what I just described about the exhalation and bowel function. There are some amazing physical benefits to a regular yoga practice and they may be slightly different for each person, depending on the state of your physical health.

Social well-being: In my view, waste removal in terms of social relationships has to do with doing an inventory of your social stalk and being very clear and honest with yourself about which of these relationships provide you with all the love, nourishment, and safety that you need. Relationships are interesting. I’m not suggesting cutting people off because I think cut-offs are not necessarily a healthy way of resolving things (sometimes yes, but often not). In some cases, forgiveness and letting go of the resentment we hold toward people we have cut off is the would be the waste removal in and of itself. It’s really just about awareness. It’s important for us to have people in our lives who help us flourish and if we take inventory and realize that we are carrying around some unwanted waste simply because we are avoiding taking a look at the impact of this (conflict, relationships that deplete us, unhealthy dynamics), perhaps a little clean up is needed in order to allow space for something new. For example, end the relationship that is no longer going well, or take some space from someone out of compassion for the fact that both parties are not happy, or make amends with someone you actually miss.

Environmental well-being: De-clutter, re-organize, throw things away, clean up your physical space at home, work, and/or in your car. Something shifts in our sense of wellness when we clean up our environment. It certainly is the case for me. Our environment plays a huge role in our overall health and it’s important to make note of the ways in which we maintain the physical space around us. Often, the way we maintain our physical space is a reflection of the way we place value on taking care of ourselves. Don’t let it go to shit, if you know what I mean.

Spiritual well-being: The way I mean it (the word spirituality) hear is in terms of how you make sense of life and death. For some that may be through religious beliefs, but for others it’s something entirely different. If you are going along with a spiritual path or belief that isn’t actually one that is a good fit for you, shake it up and move out of that bad pace. If you claim to have no spiritual beliefs, put the word spirituality aside and ask yourself what it is that is getting in the way of you feeling grounded and invigorated about living a meaningful life. How do you make sense of death? For me, my spiritual connection exists in nature. The waste I need to remove at times includes all of my excuses for not getting out in nature when life takes over and I start to feel overwhelmed.

Intellectual well-being: In my opinion, boredom is the greatest obstruction to a sense of intellectual well-being. It sucks. It leads to lethargic energy, which leads to lack of motivation, which just creates a sense of grossness and tiredness. When I work with teens who spend 60% of their days at school complaining about being bored and then say that they hate school, I encourage them to seriously get interested. Find a way. Make the material interesting. Seek out people and activities that create a sense of intellectual stimulation for you and say no to those people and activities that bring you down into a rut of boredom and meaninglessness. Figure out what you love doing and follow that direction. Figure out what it is that captivates you so much that you lose all sense of time when you’re engaged in it. We need to be challenged intellectually. It’s a part of our human make-up.

Emotional well-being: Purge the emotional crap when it comes up. Live it, breathe it, embrace it, and cry it out. Do whatever it takes to allow it to just be what it is without judgement. “What we resist persists”. If you are feeling sad or angry and you tell yourself to not feel sad or angry, the emotion will just linger or boil below the surface. Avoidance or suppression may help, but only temporarily. Someone once told me (when I wasn’t able to stop crying), “cry as hard as you possibly can, even harder than you are crying right now, and let it all out for 5 minutes. I guarantee you that you won’t last the full 5 minutes.” She was right. I embraced the sadness rather than shame myself for it and rather than telling myself that there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t stop. I cried my little heart out for a total of 3 minutes. Then, I felt ridiculous… so I stopped. I mean I literally stopped crying. The waste I need to eliminate was the unhelpful thoughts that kept telling me that I shouldn’t be crying (largely related to shame). The same goes for anger, grief, or any kind of hardship. As hard as it is, allow the emotion to come up, experience it fully but without acting on it, just observe it. Let it be without doing what we often are tempted to do: escape it. See what happens and let me know if it works for you.

The thing about these 6 dimensions of holistic health is that they are all connected. If you aren’t taking care of your emotional health, it will impact your relationships, which may impact the way you cope in ways that are not good for your body, which then… it’s just a negative spiral. Instead, make it a positive spiral. Take a look at what the root cause is when you are feeling bummed out and clean up the space, remove whatever waste is present.
Yoga therapy is 90% waste removal. I like that. It’s simple.

Telling someone who is battling with a pervasive, chronic expression of depression to “Just get happy”, simply doesn’t work. It’s not that it’s right or wrong – it just doesn’t help the person, the situation, or the relationship. It can even make the feelings of fear, shame and anger deepen. The thing is, everyone wishes they could just get happy. For some, it’s just not that simple. It takes time. It takes a huge perspective shift, which can only happen once you release the ankle weights that are pulling you downward so you can start swimming to the surface. It takes an understanding of what it means to be responsible for your own happiness.

If you’ve struggled with long-term depression, then I’m sure you can relate. If you haven’t but have a close friend or family member who has, please read with openness and curiosity. Regardless of who you are, consider this: We all have the potential to be authentically happy. Coming out of a chronic form of depression requires a lot of courage and self-determination and that’s something that exists within all of us. For some, it requires a huge change in external factors (getting out of an unhealthy relationship, moving out of an environment that is not good for your well-being, and more). It requires a change of patterns and the wisdom of being able to separate the things you do and don’t have the ability to change (both internal and external factors). Mostly, it often comes back to remembering to breath, to love, and to develop a true sense of self-worth.

Depression is like this: It feels like you are stuck in the middle-depth of a deep dark ocean with ankle-weights that are pulling you deeper; an oxygen tank that is deficient and only letting you take in enough air to stay alive; and you only have the level of physical strength and energy it takes to keep yourself in a stagnant place, creating a counter-force against the weights that are pulling you downward by moving your limbs in this lethargic, heavy way. You literally feel like you’re stuck and your mind tends to vacillate between thoughts of giving into the downward pull by letting go of the struggle so you can just sink once and for all, and thoughts of determination that if you try harder and muster up enough strength, you can work against the weights and the lack of oxygen and get your self to the surface. Regardless of how many people may be up on shore sending you life-saving devices, the pervasive thoughts convince you that “No one cares”, “I’m un-loveable”, “I’m on my own”, and “It’s not worth it because there is something wrong with me”. Then, the self-fulfilling prophecies kick in: since you aren’t taking the life-saving devices, and wrongfully accusing people of not caring, they eventually walk away. Or if they stick around, they get so frustrated with the fact that you aren’t working with them to get yourself to the surface, that their own feelings of hopelessness and despair get triggered and everyone is now unhappy. The bonus for you: you get to be right about your internal dialogue. “See, no one cares about me”, “I’ll never be happy”, “I failed again”.

I highlighted the “it feels like”, because, in actuality, it’s all just a load of crap. Pardon my language. I give myself permission to say this because I know it from experience and I’m not in any way judging the notion or suggesting that the feeling isn’t valid. It really does feel this way. To those of you who may have witnessed the load of crap I am talking about, please remember that no matter how much you feel that the depressive behaviours are manipulative or counter-intuitive, it will still not help for you to point that out. The secret is…deep down inside, we know that and don’t and can’t admit it in those moments. Our behaviour serves the main purpose of proving ourselves right about all that negative dialogue going on in our heads. The thing is, we tend to be stuck in such a narrow and panicky kind of suffering in those moments, that we can’t think clearly enough to simplify the drama of the experience. We lose our problem-solving abilities and get caught up in the story of what had us sink in the first place. We are being self-righteous about the B.S. of the internal chatter that we are (somewhat unconsciously) maintaining.

Essentially, there is a comfort to what is familiar and to risk changing any of this would involve a) the courage to be responsible for your own happiness, b) letting go of being righteous in your blame of others for the unhappiness, and c) letting go of being righteous about all the things you blame and criticize in yourself.

How about just taking off the ankle weights, or taking a moment to re-focus so you can breathe more slowly and efficiently to make better use of the oxygen you do have? How about putting a little less energy into the thinking and suffering mind and a little more energy into the sensations and actions of the present moment? How about accepting those life-saving devices and letting the love in, no matter how hard, how scary, and how vulnerable that might feel? Perhaps then, we’d be able to float up to the surface with ease. As I said, it’s just not that simple at first. It takes time. It also takes a wonderful support network of people who understand what it’s like and can help you achieve that sense of weightlessness with love, respect, and freedom of choice.

Here’s a list of Do’s and Don’t’s for support those you love who are living with depression:

Do love unconditionally

Do be curious, non-judgmental and optimistic

Do listen

Do investigate your own triggers, responses, and self-blame and participate in solving the problem

Do get support for yourself by learning from and connecting with people who can help you understand

Do take responsibility for things in the past that may be unresolved in your relationship

Do ask questions and show empathy

Don’t take it personally if they don’t accept your help at first – stay committed in a respectful way

Don’t send any messages that convey that something may be “wrong with him or her” – There’s is nothing wrong with him or her.

Don’t give up – maintain your boundaries in a way that you can take care of yourself and be there when he or she decides they will let you in.

Don’t be critical of yourself or the person you are trying to support

Don’t give so much of yourself that you end up being resentful of him or her for consuming all your energy – you need your own energy to get through this together.

Don’t believe or buy in to the disease model of mental health – Tap into your values of compassion, hope, and understanding to recognize that a mood “disorder” is something that can and will change…you just need the right ingredients and the right formula.

Together, figure out what will help you. Everyone is different and unique and full of loving potential. Call on your people and your local professionals for support.

Once the person’s head is above water, then you can say “just get happy” and he or she will hear you.

Please feel free to connect with me and ask questions. I’m here to help as well.

With love,

Katherine

Depression is often a situational symptom of something that happened. We all have our ups and downs and when something has happened to put our self-worth into question, we are all susceptible to low moods and emotional upheaval.

So hard to say! Every time I turn the page, I have a new favourite. I’m only 29 pages in.

After reading my first blog post, a friend and fellow yoga teacher told me I should read Fey’s book because she apparently makes reference to the improv rule of always saying yes as a life guideline. I haven’t gotten that far yet.

The excerpt I want to share though, is the following (she is describing her first kindergarten experience of “meet the teacher night”):

While my parents talked to the teacher, I was sent to a table to do coloring. I was introduced to a Greek boy named Alex whose mom was next in line to meet with the teacher. We colored together in silence. I was so used to being praised and encouraged that when I finished my drawing I held it up to show Alex, who immediately ripped it in half. I didn’t have the language to express my feelings then, but my thoughts were something like “Oh, it’s like that, motherfucker? Got it.” (page 8)

I got a stomach cramp from laughing so hard. I thought of all the situations in which I was working with kids and witnessed interactions exactly like this. Even when they don’t say it, you can see it written on their 5 year old faces. Full expression. As adults, we tend to think we’re doing these kids a favour by intervening and reassuring the victim (girl with the torn drawing and torn ego) and scolding the perpetrator (the kid who just doesn’t give a shit, really). We say weird things like, “that wasn’t very nice”, “would you like it if someone took your drawing and tore it up”, while talking down to the destroyer of drawings. We give the little Tina Feys sympathy, rather than empathy. Why don’t we encourage them to speak for themselves and express what they really think. Some adults do. Regardless of what we teach, people can always see through other people’s bullshit. That’s my point. Let us remember that and teach not to bullshit. As adults, when what we are thinking is “Oh, it’s like that motherfucker? Got it.”, we pretend it’s not and think we’re doing a good job of hiding it. Kids are good on calling us out on it. Adults, in general, not so much. We tend to just take note of it and talk about it with others. I think that kindergarten scenario is quite hilarious, if you ask me. I love being around kids for that very reason – they’re so funny and true and tell it like it is.

In his book, Yoga as Medicine, Dr. Timothy McCall lists and explains the following benefits of yoga:

1. Increases Flexibility

2. Strengthens Muscles

3. Improves Balance

4. Improves Immune Function

5. Improves Lung Function

6. Improves Posture

7. Leads to Slower and Deeper Breathing

8. Discourages Mouth Breathing

9. Increases Oxygenation of Tissues

10. Improves Joint Health

11. Nourishes Inter-vertebral Disks

12. Improves Return of Venous Blood

13. Increases Circulation of Lymph

14. Improves Function of the Heart

15. Improves Proprioception (ability to feel where your body is in space)

16. Increases Control of Bodily Functions

17. Strengthens Bones

18. Conditions the Cardiovascular System

19. Promotes Weight Loss

20. Relaxes the Nervous System

21. Improves the Function of the Nervous System

22. Improves Brain Function

23. Activates the Left Prefrontal Cortex

24. Changes Neurotransmitter Levels

25. Lowers Levels of the Stress Hormone Cortisol

26. Lowers Blood Sugar

27. Lowers Blood Pressure

28. Improves Levels of Cholesterol and Triglycerine

29. Thins the Blood

30. Improves Bowel Function

31. Releases Unconscious Muscular Gripping

32. Uses Imagery to Effect Change in the Body

33. Relieves Pain

34. Lowers Need for Medication

35. Fosters Healing Relationships

36. Improves Psychological Health

37. Leads to Healthier Habits

38. Fosters Spiritual Growth

39. Elicits the Placebo Effect

40. Encourages Involvement in Your Own Healing

Number 40 is my favorite.

Check out Tim McCall’s page for more information: http://www.drmccall.com/