Our minds are like a pendulum. At rest, the mind is centered, weighted/grounded, motionless, peaceful. When the fluctuations of the mind begin to stir, they sway back and forth between past and future events. When the mind is very agitated, it tends to take longer and longer journeys away from its center. For some, those journeys into future-based anxiety and past-based dwelling, can be far apart in time. For others, the mind travels greater distances within a day, maybe even multiple times within one day or within a matter of minutes – rarely pausing. Part of the practice of cultivating a sense of stability and ease within the mind is to train it to stay closer to its center, while allowing it to journey back and forth within limits that serve you in your growth and development.

What is anxiety? What does it serve? Why is it so prevalent? What are we to do about it? How do we help ourselves and others when anxiety, in disproportion to what’s actually happening in reality, looms.

After an 8 hour shift of crisis counselling, with 4 high priority clients whose anxiety had risen to a level of creating dysfunction and suicidal ideation, I found myself sitting at home asking myself all of the questions above. When you really think about the adverse impact that our own sense of chaos can have on our health and happiness, it really makes you wonder what the point of it all is. From an outsiders perspective, heightened distress can be transparently useless… or useful, depending on how you look at it and understand the underlying purpose that it can and does serve. When you’re the one who is feeling anxious, however, it doesn’t matter how much awareness you have about the irrationality of your thoughts, you end up feeling lost, panicky, and foggy. Over time, we learn to deepen the awareness and prevent the anxiety before it takes over.

If you were to externalize your anxiety (whether it be mild, moderate, severe, extreme) and write a letter to this infamous Mr. Irrational Stressy-Pants and make a request, what would you say? Hey Mr. I. S.-P., can you cool it? Dear Mr. I., I would really appreciate it if you would stop exaggerating and creating drama in my life. Dear I. man, you aren’t making any sense. Can you please give me some space? Stressy-Pants: this isn’t helping the situation. Can you please talk to Mr. Rational Happy-Go-Lucky? Or… would you soothe your Mr. Anxiety, but telling him (not sure why it’s a him) that everything is going to be ok? You don’t have to freak out, I am right here for you and can take care of it. There isn’t anything to worry about. What if… what? There is no “what if”, there’s only “what now”.

Let’s look at some of the possible functions anxiety does and can serve. Within a healthy experience of it, it can get us moving and shaking stagnant energy when change needs to happen. It can serve to motivate, fuel productive actions, and shift our direction. It can get us out of unsafe situations, inform us of our boundaries, and tell us to let go, quit complaining and do something about our circumstances. The thing is, in order for it to serve us well, we need to be connected with the signals of our bodies and at peace with who we are, just as we are in this present moment. We need to cultivate a state of mind that doesn’t deviate too far away from the here and now. Just like the analogy of the pendulum.

Anxiety also serves to relieve guilt. When I am late for a meeting by my own procrastinating ways, it’s easier to be stressed and dramatic about all the rushing around and apologizing for my tardiness because of how “stressed” I am than it is to stroll into a meeting late with ease. In other words, on a mild level, it protects the ego from looking bad. Are you a perfectionist? If yes, think about the purpose that anxiety serves in maintaining your patterns of needing to always do everything right, or else… Or else what? Rejection? Humiliation? Shame? Those only exist on an experiential level if you allow them to. How about pure habit and comfort level? If it’s in your history to have been under a lot of distress as a child, the anxiety might just be comfortable. In that “I like what is familiar” kind of way.

In more extreme cases, think about how fascinating the human nervous system is. We are animals. We, like any other species, is concerned with survival. In our most vulnerable moments, we seek protection from any threat – whether it be real or perceived. The nervous system eventually becomes trained to think, feel, and experience the world through a certain communication pattern. Integrating the mind and body and breath so they can communicate more effectively, allows us to re-educate your nervous system to understand the ways in which it can let go of what it no longer needs to protect us from.

All this said, your anxiety always has a message. Let go, change, look at the situation honestly and wholeheartedly with kindness and respect toward yourself and those around you. Bring your pendulum of a mind back to its center so you can live more freely.

Under stress, we tend to hold the breath at the end of the inhale. Instead, practice holding at the end of a long and complete exhale. Your nervous system will get the message.

There is a seed within each of us that represents our true nature – our full and most authentic potential. The degree to which that seed has thrived and is expressed, depends largely on the barriers of our own mind. When we don’t feel free to be who we truly are, we know it. When we do, we also know it.

True Freedom? It’s an experience. In my words, I would say freedom entails the opposite of distress; a complete sense of connection to that true self within you in a moment when you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world besides where you are right then and right there. Living in the present moment – that’s where happiness can bloom. In the experience of freedom, people generally have clarity, confidence, and connection. Freedom is what everyone who is running around in the rat race of our society seems to be seeking. And yet, so many people run after freedom by building on the foundations of the restrictions created by the mind. In other words, we want freedom, yet we chase after it by doing things sometimes that we know very well are not an expression of our true selves. And then, we complain we aren’t happy or we feel stuck. So, we unstick ourselves – something that takes courage and self-awareness. And we start the cycle all over again in search of what an expression of our true potential really means. That’s the beauty of our human nature… you just have to be aware of when you aren’t aware, or you risk staying stuck and un-free forever.

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine yourself in a place you love, surrounded by people who bring out the best in you, and who give their love and kindness to the parts of you that have yet to grow. Let all of the obstacles of your mind melt away and just experience that connection to yourself. If you can’t access the experience on your own by imagining it, then make sure to re-connect with yourself by going out and doing something that brings you back home. Home, being the place within you that you love and will take you wherever you are meant to go. Dance, be in nature, be loving, receive a hug, create something, travel, see and experience something new, challenge yourself, listen, be open, be curious, and reflect on your actions and your commitments.

“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There’s no one alive who is you-er than you.” ~ Dr. Seuss

People who inspire us are usually people who express themselves freely and creatively. Be that inspiration for others and for yourself. And if you have a story of hardship – tell it, share it, and in a way that favours change and growth over stagnation and victimization.

Be free to be you.

1) When you bring one of your Anglo-non-Québécois friends to a “Casse-Croûte” called “Chez Ti-Cu”, you try to share the humour, but you can’t quite find a translation that gives the name justice. You don’t even bother mentioning the part about “Cu” not being spelled correctly.

2) When you speak French, you have a slight English accent and it takes people a few minutes to catch on and say “eh, t’es un(e) p’tit(e) anglais(e) toé”. You can also understand and imitate Joual and you might have a family member on one side of your family that speaks “avac une viaille p-h-atate chaude dans bouche”.

3) In elementary school, there were at least 3 kids in your grade by the last name Chevrier and half the kids at school or in your neighbourhood couldn’t quite pronounce your name properly.

4) At least your parents made a conscious effort to give you a first name that was bilingual. If you didn’t end up with one, they did consider the impact it would have and left it up to you to figure out a default pronunciation that would satisfy the non-bilingual friends you would eventually encounter.

5) You follow the unwritten rules of hugging your Anglo people, giving deux becs to the Franco friends and family members, and you encounter situations on a regular basis where you accidentally kiss someone on the nose, lips, or eyes because you are both confused about the appropriate greeting.

6) Comfort foods may include: brown beans, hot dog steamé (not to be confused with hot dog classic), split pea soup with ham chunks, pudding chômeur, hot-chicken, mashed potatoes with powder gravy, and St-Hubert. All of the above were also occasionally on your high school cafeteria menu.

7) When you were 13 and one of your peers was sent to the principal’s office for calling your mean teacher “une plot salle”, you went along with the classroom’s gasping and chuckling, pretending to know what that meant so that you wouldn’t be the butt of the next joke.

8) You know the words to Eric Lapointe’s N’importe Quoi.

9) Around your Anglo people, your French comes out unexpectedly when you use the language of the Church to curse, tabarnaque-de-colisse osti.

10) You use erroneous expressions in both languages that are direct translations of the correct expression in the language you learned it in. Ex: Instead of saying you are “off-in-space”, you say “in the moon”.

11) You aren’t actually Anglo or Franco. You belong to a particular category and your own sense of humour can be a confusing experience for you, as it is crass, straight-shooting, dry, and sarcastic… sometimes all at the same time. Anglo people think you’re being a jerk and the Franco people don’t know how to tell if you’re joking or not. Other times, you are right on point.

12) If you have lived outside Québec, there is or was a part of your life there that you know you could never quite call home in the same way.

Please note: these are in no particular order, they have nothing to do with yoga on or off the mat, and they may or may not be associated with growing up in the 80s and 90s. Please comment if you have any to add.